Alright, strap in, folks, ’cause we’re diving headfirst into the world of entitled runners and walkers who think they own the damn road. You know the type those self-absorbed fitness fanatics who believe traffic lights and pedestrian crossings are just suggestions, not rules.

Picture this: you’re cruising down the road, minding your own business, when out of nowhere, Captain Cardio decides it’s the perfect time to play a real-life game of Frogger. They leap off the curb with reckless abandon, expecting cars to screech to a halt like they’re some kind of pedestrian royalty.

But oh, if you dare honk your horn to remind them that roads are for vehicles, not impromptu marathon courses, what do you get? The infamous middle finger salute, the “BIRD”. Yep, that’s right, the universal symbol of “screw you, I do what I want.”

Listen here, Dip Sh*t, just because you’ve got your Lycra on and your Fitbit counting your steps doesn’t give you the right to act like a road hazard. Last time I checked, the Road Rules/Laws don’t have a section for entitled idiots who think they’re above basic road safety.

So, next time you feel the urge to dart in front of oncoming traffic like a gazelle on Red Bull, maybe take a moment to remember that cars are bigger than you, and they won’t hesitate to remind you of that fact with a friendly beep.

To all the entitled road-runners out there, here’s a hot tip: save the bird for your post-workout protein shake, not for the drivers who are just trying to get from A to B without adding “avoiding fitness junkies” to their to-do list. And if you can’t handle that, well, maybe stick to the sidewalk where you belong.