Let’s get one thing straight when you hand over your personal info to a major national airline, a telso, a bank, or any big player, you expect that sh!t to be treated like gold. But instead of securing it properly, these clowns are offshoring your data to some random third-party outfit in another country because, apparently, saving a few bucks is worth more than your f*cking identity.

And here’s the kicker: those third parties always get hacked. Not “maybe.” Not “possibly.” ALWAYS. Suddenly, your driver’s licence number, bank details, frequent flyer and medical records, are getting passed around the dark web like a bong at a uni party. Why? Because the company you trusted decided protecting your data wasn’t “cost effective.”

The Bullsh!t Playbook

Offshore it. Ship customer data overseas because wages are cheaper and local regulations don’t apply.

Cross your fingers. Hope no one notices that the offshore company’s “cybersecurity” is basically a WiFi router from 2009 and a free antivirus trial.

Pretend to care. When the inevitable breach happens, pump out a soulless press release: “We take your privacy seriously.” F*ck off. If you did, you wouldn’t have flushed it down the outsourcing toilet.

Move on. Customers deal with the scams, fraud, and fallout while executives cash their performance bonuses.

Real People, Real Sh!t

This isn’t some abstract “data breach” headline it’s real people getting fu*cked. Identity theft. Bank accounts drained. Phone numbers spammed daily by scammers. Kids’ details stolen before they’re even old enough to drive. Meanwhile, the company at fault? They just shrug, and move on or try to save face by the ceo giving up some salary which you can bet will return 10x in bonuses from all the money they saved giving our data to the muppets at some thirdparty.

The Greed Factor

Here’s the ugly truth: none of this is about “better service” or “efficiency.” It’s about corporate greed. Companies are too f*cking cheap to pay qualified local staff, so they ship your details off to the lowest bidder who’s more interested in keeping costs down than keeping data secure.

And when it blows up? They act like it’s a one-off “cyber incident.” Mate, it’s not an incident. It’s a business model built on rolling the dice with our privacy.

Time to Flip the Script

If you want our business, protect our damn data. Keep it local. Invest in proper cybersecurity. Stop treating customers like disposable sh!t you can just apologise to after you f*ck them over.

We don’t need another apology. We need accountability. Fines so big they sting. Executives personally liable for breaches caused by reckless outsourcing. Until then, the cycle continues: companies cut corners, data leaks, customers pay the price.

So next time some corporation brags about “trust” and “security” while offshoring your details to save a buck? Remember, your data isn’t safe. It’s for sale.

Yeah nah, f*ck this.